A Guide to Girls' Outfits for Engagements, Söz and Civil Weddings

Formality by Type of Ceremony

The söz, the engagement and the civil wedding may be stages of the same journey, but they don't carry the same weight when it comes to clothes. A söz is usually held at home or around a small family table; here a dress as showy as an evening gown can be too much. An engagement is a bigger occasion, mostly held in a hall in the evening; the formality goes up a notch.

The civil wedding, meanwhile, is a short ceremony but a much-photographed one: in the close-ups in front of the signing table, the texture of the fabric and the details at the neckline come to the fore. If a meal or celebration follows the civil wedding, the dress needs to suit that part of the day too. You can see the designs we've prepared for these ceremonies on our engagement and civil ceremony dresses page.

Daytime Civil Wedding or Evening Engagement?

The time of day is decisive in choosing the fabric. In daylight, heavy sequins and very shiny fabrics look harsh and appear even brighter in photos than they are. For a daytime civil wedding, fabrics that reflect light softly, such as chiffon, organza or tulle without glitter, look more natural. At civil weddings held in a garden, keeping the hem at a length that won't touch the grass and soil, and in summer choosing a design that doesn't cover the back and arms too much, keeps the child comfortable.

At an evening engagement the hall lighting comes into play; the full body of satin and taffeta and the subtle shimmer of glitter tulle come into their own here. Colours can deepen by a shade too: navy, emerald green, silver and gold look rich in the evening light. In winter, velvet or a long-sleeved cut suits both the season and the formality.

Colour: Matching the Bride and the Family Theme

At a civil wedding the bride usually wears white. A pure white, full-skirted child's dress can blend into the bride's dress in photos; some families find this sweet, while others want white to belong to the bride alone. A good middle ground is to set a white dress apart with a coloured sash or bow if white is wanted, or to switch to pale tones such as blush, light lilac or silver if it isn't.

At an engagement the bride usually chooses a coloured dress, and many families also set a colour theme that runs through the whole ceremony, such as blush and gold or navy and silver. For the child's dress, choosing a tone one shade lighter or darker from the same colour family, rather than exactly the bride's tone, looks more balanced in the family photo. The colour, fabric and details of every design in the collection, including our lilac and navy party dresses, can be adapted to your theme with a custom design request.

• Find out the colour of the bride's dress, and any colour theme, in advance
• If you're considering a pure white design for the civil wedding, ask the family's view
• Choose a close tone from the same family rather than exactly the bride's tone
• Repeat the theme in the sash, bow or flower detail rather than across the whole dress

Designs that suit this guide

Blush Chiffon Party Dress with Bow₺3,500 · VAT includedPeach 3D Flower Tulle Party Dress₺3,500 · VAT includedPink Crossover-Draped Tulle Party Dress with Jewelled Belt₺3,500 · VAT includedMint Green Satin Party Dress₺3,500 · VAT included

Simple Elegance: One Strong Detail

Engagements and civil weddings are more intimate than a wedding celebration; the guests are close to the couple and most of the photos are close-ups. So rather than piling on details, choosing a single focal point gives a more elegant result. It could be a bow at the waist, a row of pearls at the neckline, a 3D flower at the shoulder or cape sleeves; once one is chosen, the others should stay in the background.

A princess cut and layered skirts with restrained fullness are the easiest options for these ceremonies. A high-low design looks both formal and lively, and also stops the front of the skirt being trodden on when climbing steps. Very long trains and stiff, overly full skirts, on the other hand, can tangle around the feet when walking to the signing table or carrying the ring tray. If your child has a role in the ceremony, the notes in our flower girl guide will also help.

Comfort Through a Long Ceremony

Even if the civil ceremony itself is short, waiting in the hall, the photos and the meal that follows can easily make the day last for hours; evening engagements also often go on late. During that time the child waits on a chair, gets picked up, carries the ring tray or runs around on the dance floor. So think of the dress not just for the first photo but for the end of the night.

Ask for a soft lining where tulle and lace touch the skin; the armholes and waist shouldn't pull when the child raises her arms or sits on a chair. If the engagement runs late, it's normal for a child to fall asleep in someone's arms; a softly falling skirt and trims that don't dig into the back make that moment easier too. With a dress sewn to measure, these adjustments are made for the child from the start; we explain step by step how to take the measurements in our measuring guide.

• The skirt shouldn't catch when she walks or climbs steps
• Have her wear the shoes at home a few times before the ceremony
• In winter, keep a light cardigan or shawl handy until you're inside the venue
• For a long day, bring a comfortable change of clothes

Coordinating Sisters and Cousins

If there's more than one girl in the family, an engagement or civil wedding is a lovely opportunity to dress sisters and cousins in coordinating outfits. Three approaches stand out: making the same design to each child's own measurements, using the same colour in different designs, or interpreting the same fabric with a cut suited to each age. A shorter, lighter skirt for a 3–4-year-old and a longer, simpler cut for an 11–12-year-old cousin show they're from the same family while suiting each one's age. Details are on our siblings and group orders page.